Barbarians aren't stupid.

Try to buy fresh  quality ingredients. Don't get me wrong, I've used cheap dried spices before and I will again. But if you can (and especially if you're cooking to impress a woman) get the good stuff, locally grown if possible.

Go ahead and get some dried stuff too. If you have dried onion and garlic you're halfway home on almost any recipe. I like to get some dried peppers and other vegetables too. I use them for camping meals and as emergency backup at home when I run out of something.

Bread is just dry beer.

As we all know, modern civilization started when people banded together to brew beer. Shortly thereafter, bread was discovered when a batch of beer was ruined. Bread was superior to beer in that it was dry and edible, but inferior in that it was dry and non-alcoholic.

In any event, fresh-baked bread tastes and smells great and impresses everyone. The most basic method is ridiculously easy: buy frozen dough and follow the directions. You might be able to get refrigerated dough if you plan on using it quickly.

If that's too easy, the next is pretty easy too: The Official Barbarian Modified No-Cleanup Bread Machine Technique

1. Get a bread machine. ProTip: Never buy a new bread machine. Every yard sale has one. You can just throw it away after you use the thing instead of cleaning it.
2. Get an Instant Bread Machine Dough Packet at the grocery store. 
3. Do whatever the packet says, like add water or whatever.
4. Now, here's the important part: You have to figure out how to set your machine to "dough." See, the problem with bread machines is that their pan shape sucks.It's always too squat. So, what you do is just make the dough and let it rise in the machine. When it's done, you dump it out into a greased loaf pan (you can buy aluminum ones at the store).
5. Throw the bread machine away.
6. Let the dough rise again until it's up over the lip of the pan. ProTip: You can throw the dough in the refrigerator and it will still rise although it normally takes 8 hours or so.
7. Cook @ 375 for 30 minutes.
8. Cool on a rack.
9. Throw the pan in the garbage.

It's just that easy.

Welcome!

We gather together to celebrate food made the Man way: Simple and Tasty. And let's face it, that's about all we have time and money for these days.

But sometimes we have either a little time or money, and maybe a drink or two as well. Then, we might be able to move on into recipes or methods that are Stupid or Dangerous.

And maybe, we might need to cook one single meal suitable to serve to women.